This weekend was also the second annual Race for the Cure. My whole family does this walk with my mom, who is a breast cancer survivor. That was pretty great. She made it again, although struggled a bit more than last year. She had a stint put into an artery and her mobility has degenerated since last year. It was pretty worrisome thinking about her health. But we all cheered her on and had a pretty fun time ourselves.
I've come to a weird level of acceptance with my mom's health. She is sick and there is nothing I can do about it. I've managed to let go of my anger and frustration with her choices. I need to put that energy into fixing myself. I think a lot of my anger came from the fact that when I look at my mom (diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, arthritis) I see my possible future. I don't want to be mad at her for not fixing herself. I want to spend that energy on me. I can prevent that future if I want to. I just have to want it bad enough to make the radical changes that I need to make.
That's the biggest reason why I'm willing to choke down Medifast meals. I know it will get me where I need to be.