Medifast Begins

I got the big box of food packets a couple of days ago. I have been doing Medifast now for 2 full-days. I've learned that I don't like most of the stuff I've tried, but it does keep me feeling full. Now I'm wondering if it's possible to survive on chocolate protein shakes and peanut butter bars for 6 months. My starting weight was 226 lbs. In order to not be considered overweight by the medical community, my goal weight is 125 lbs. I have to lose 101 lbs.

This weekend was also the second annual Race for the Cure. My whole family does this walk with my mom, who is a breast cancer survivor. That was pretty great. She made it again, although struggled a bit more than last year. She had a stint put into an artery and her mobility has degenerated since last year. It was pretty worrisome thinking about her health. But we all cheered her on and had a pretty fun time ourselves.

I've come to a weird level of acceptance with my mom's health. She is sick and there is nothing I can do about it. I've managed to let go of my anger and frustration with her choices. I need to put that energy into fixing myself. I think a lot of my anger came from the fact that when I look at my mom (diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, arthritis) I see my possible future. I don't want to be mad at her for not fixing herself. I want to spend that energy on me. I can prevent that future if I want to. I just have to want it bad enough to make the radical changes that I need to make.

That's the biggest reason why I'm willing to choke down Medifast meals. I know it will get me where I need to be.